Have you ever been surrounded by a crowd of people and yet felt so lonely, so empty and hollow that you felt like you would actually echo if you talked? I can remember feeling this way often when I worked as a bouncer in the night clubs. The same people would stroll in night after night...start off with the same superficial conversations...pour booze down their throats until they staggered, slurred and sometimes puked...only to come back the next night for another repeat performance. I can remember one New Year's Eve...standing in the midst of 500 partying people...and feeling so hollow it hurt. There were times I felt so lonely and empty that I actually considered ending my own life, all with a superficial, plastic smile pasted on my face.
What was the purpose of it all? Was there any true and lasting meaning to life...or was it simply eat and drink for tomorrow we die? These questions nagged at my soul.
As I look back on chapters of my life, I see God more clearly in the rear-view mirror...before God fills a vessel He first begins to empty it. Before God fills us with His peace...He first begins to open our eyes to see the vanity and emptiness of life without Him.
Loneliness and life’s difficulties can come to us when, like above, we are surrounded by a crowd of people, but soul crushing loneliness can also come to us when we find ourselves isolated from family and friends. Either by our own bad choices or sometimes because of circumstances outside of us. How many people can relate to this withering and emptying of their hearts over the last year with Government restrictions due to Covid-19?
Saint Augustine taught a sobering truth over 1500 years ago, an eternal truth that is relevant for every time and culture. He said that every human heart had a hole in it that only God Himself could fill. We often try and fill that hole with a multitude of other things, but because only God is infinite, all the other, lesser things will never fill that void. This is designed to frustrate us to the point that we begin to seek God’s face until He fills that empty place.
God can draw straight lines with crooked sticks. God uses light vibrant colors in His beautiful masterpiece called history, but He also uses dark tints and shades.
God can use our tears to open our eyes and ears. He can use the emptiness and shallowness of this life, the loneliness of this life, the seeming meaninglessness and purposelessness of this life to draw our attention to Jesus. Humanity’s only hope in life and in death is found in Him!
Life following Jesus isn't a bed of roses...it isn't an easy life of simply "going with the flow"...but on the day, 30 years ago, when I first trusted the Prince of Peace, a peace that surpasses all comprehension filled my heart and remains with me to this day.
Yes, life does have meaning and purpose...but it isn't something that we can try to fabricate on our own...it must be found in the Maker and Designer of life.
For the follower of Jesus, this life, with all of its struggles and hardships is only a vapor, it is a brief and temporary stepping stone before the endless eternity that awaits us all. Where sin, suffering and the feeling of loneliness will be no more. Make sure you are in Him when that eternity begins.
